Bridge to Success

Life's Like This — A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame others for his failures. I believe it would be safe to assume that we all go through life hoping, perhaps even dreaming of finding success in our life's ambitions. The path to success is often riddled with obstacles and a series of setbacks that keep us from achieving our goals. And with those setbacks, disappointment and depression can occur causing us to doubt if our dreams and aspirations will ever materialize. At times like this, it is easy to give up hope, to throw in the towel and quit pursuing our goals. Quite often, we are quick to blame others for our failures rather than examining our role in our inability to realize our dreams. Once we start down the path of blaming others, we will find increased difficulty in achieving success until we remove the blinders that hinder our personal growth.

Preserving Your Marriage

Life’s Like This — If you truly want to preserve a loving relationship, you need to be willing to put in the work to cultivate and sustain that relationship. You need to be willing to communicate and share your needs so that your love can grow. And just as important is a willingness to listen and respond appropriately to the feelings and concerns of the one you love. In marriage, effective two-way communication is the thread that ties every aspect of marital life together. When two people commit themselves in marriage, they have embarked on a journey that will have peaks and valleys; times when everything in their relationship will gel and go smoothly, but more often then not, there will be rough patches that can put a strain on even the most loving of relationships. When two people blend their lives together a journey of discovery begins; a discovery of character traits, interests, insecurities, temperament, and a host of other relationship issues that in many cases had not been known before they made their commitment to each other. If truth be told, even prior to marriage, these things may have been revealed in some degree but ignored out of what can only be described as “love blindness”. We all want to see the best in people, especially the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with. We have romantic illusions that love will conquer all; that there is nothing that can tear apart the love that binds you together in marriage. The reality is that loving relationships are tested everyday, and with the passing of time, comes the opportunity to embrace all the virtues that you can tap into to cultivate and sustain the love your marriage was founded on.

Nothing Lasts Forever?

Life’s Like This — Even the prettiest flower will wilt one day; it’s nature’s way of teaching us that nothing lasts forever. Love is like a wilting flower — if you sever the stem providing the nourishment for its growth, it too will wither and die. The seeds of love often spring forth with a beauty that is unique and precious in the eyes and heart of the beholder. The experience of a romantic love can captivate your heart and sometimes blind you to the realities of life. As precious as romantic love can be, the essence of true love is often tested when the emotional high subsides and you come face-to-face with the stark reality of blending the lives of two people who are bonded together in a spirit of love. We all want love to last forever and we all want to hold onto the feelings that led us to love the person we have devoted our lives to. But as the days, months, and years pass, we often begin to take love for-granted and as a result, the wilting phase of our love begins. And when that happens, we are often unaware that the wilting process has even begun, and that lack of awareness can be the biggest factor that ultimately leads to the loss of a love that you once held dear to your heart. Love is more than emotions — it is a gift of your will — it is a choice. If you want to preserve the love you have for someone, you need to be alert to the warning signs that can blindside your relationship.

Communicating Your Feelings

Life’s Like This — Sometimes you just can’t tell anybody how you really feel. Not because you don’t want to, but because you may be fearful of how they may respond and simply can’t find the right words to make them understand. Unless you are uniquely in tune with your emotions and have a mastery of words to express the feelings you have at any one point in time, I suspect we all have moments when we simply cannot find the words to express what is on our mind. And when that happens, you may experience frustration and start to withdraw from people in your life. You may even act out your frustrations in ways that are inappropriate and possibly immature. In our struggle to find the words to convey our feelings, to let others know what we are thinking, and to communicate our needs, we may begin to have bouts of depression and anger.

Crossing Your Ouch Line

Life’s Like This — You may not have ever realized this, but we all have Ouch Lines. Years ago, I came across this little paperback book on communication techniques that was very memorable, except that I simply cannot remember the title. But there was one concept called the Ouch Line, that I will always remember. The book had many pencil stick drawings to illustrate its different points. While the drawings are basic, the communication concept it represents is very helpful in understanding some interpersonal communication problems.  
 
 
Imagine two circles (or draw these on a piece of paper) in which each circle has a stick figure in the center. One of the figures represents you and the other represents the person that is communicating with you. The line (or circle) around each stick figure represents the Ouch Line.